Thank God for the Working Man

This weekend was out of control.  It included my first attempt at working retail and my first attempt at waiting tables.  Let me tell you, I'm sore! These are no jobs for wimps!  While I had a lot of fun, I think the purpose of the weekend may have been for me to appreciate my job and that ole PhD of mine.

First, I helped work the Juniors Department for the Belk Charity Sale.  Thankfully, I had Casey and Brittani to work with,  and a really great Belk employee to give us a clue what to do!  We could not believe how tiny the clothes were!  Especially this year's shorts.  Those wanna be undies are not endorsed by the Tuscaloosa Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy!  And there were almost no shirts or dresses that could be worn with normal support.  Strangely, I wound up buying several items from the Juniors Department - perhaps more than I ever bought as an actual Junior.  Rest assured that it was little summer sweaters and normal-like shirts.

Then, I had my turn at being a Celebrity Waiter for Temporary Emergency Services.  Clearly, they use the term "celebrity" loosely :-).  I had volunteered a year ago and hadn't thought much about it.  Then I got the letter this week saying that a lot of waiters choose to wear costumes and that I could come in the day before to decorate my table.  Clearly, I needed to give this a bit more attention.  With Christa's help, I pulled a retro "Donna Reed" dress from my closet and went 50's mom.  I was feeling like my decorations were quite nice until I got there and saw the extreme that others went to - extremes such as rotating table lamps and tiki huts.  Oh well, my Table Awesome was cute, but I didn't know that I'd have anybody to serve.  I only had one person reserved for my table, and she was sick and wound up at the hospital.  Therefore, I became the "overflow table", which means I wound up with a state senator (running for US Congress), his campaign manager, and a very sweet and quiet couple from out of town.

The night continued to get interesting when I found out I had to carry a whole turkey and a quarter of a ham to my table.  And I had to carve the turkey.  With a dull knife and a broken plastic fork.  I'm not sure being a butcher's daughter was helpful under those conditions.  I did earn $25 for TES by checking to see if the turkey had a gizzard.  It did not.  The table next to me was being waited on by the District Attorney, but he was stuck in the kitchen waiting on a turkey, so I had to serve the town Police Chief and who knows who else some of my pitiful turkey.  I'm just glad I didn't spill it on anybody.

Next, I was called to the stage and told my table would give a $50 donation for me to either sing "Like A Virgin" or do the Single Ladies dance.  No question there, I had to do the dance.  Yes, there were probably 200 people in this ballroom.  Yes, they were people that are "important and influential" in town.  But, the mayor had just rapped "Turn This Mother Out", so there was no turning back.  I avoided eye contact, went for it, and danced it out.  No, I have no clue what exactly I did or what it looked like.

And this was just my Saturday.  There were other adventures on Friday and Sunday, but I'll leave those for a later time.  Until then, just wish that you had been sitting at Table Awesome.