Do y'all struggle with those regular maintenance activities? I sure do. I'm pretty decent about getting my oil changed, and I'm usually great about going to the dentist - but you can forget the regular mattress flipping and new pillow buying. I feel like those things that we are supposed to do "every x months" should all be on one list somewhere, and that we should be able to hire someone to keep track of when we last did said thing. I'm pretty sure someone is employed by Martha Stewart purely to give her dogs a monthly heartworm treatment and change her air conditioning vents, then write it down on a calendar.
When life has added stress, we usually throw our personal maintenance out the window. Now that some of the fog is lifting from my past year, I'm trying to check some of the forgotten tasks of my list. Granted, this goal got a good kick in the butt when I was pulled over by a policeman on Sunday afternoon. For having an expired tag. That I had totally forgotten. I remembered first when I was doing my taxes and realized I didn't have a receipt for my 2010 tag. Then, I think I had a fleeting thought about it this summer and mentioned it to my mother. When I was pulled over on Sunday on the way to seeing the Lion King in 3D (a total necessity), I sure wasn't thinking about an out-of-date tag, but I knew I wasn't speeding (since I had just pulled out from a stop light and wasn't going over 10mph) and I was pretty sure I hadn't robbed a convenience store. The officer was so nice, and after seeing my lack of a record, he asked if I was even from Alabama and knew I was supposed to renew my tag. I said "Yep, just had a crap year and forgot. Thank you for pulling me over and doing your job." When I went to renew my tag, the lady at the annex got a big kick out of it and told me to come back in 2 weeks for my 2012 sticker. On the plus side, my forgetfulness and complete acknowledgement of it seemed to give 2 city employees a good laugh.
Since then, I've tried to close out a year old traffic accident and made appointments for the dentist and eye doctor. I may even take my dog in to get her shots a couple of weeks early ;).
What about you? Are you taking care of yourself? Do you need to stop today and do a little life maintenance?
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Who Among You?
I didn't get home from work and small group until after 9:00pm tonight. My first priority was letting my dog out of her crate because she had been locked up too long. I had thought about my dog while I was driving home, and how I would need to give her extra attention and play toys because of the day's neglect. Once I was home, I wanted to go straight to bed. Then, I remembered that I had to make my dog's dinner. (Not because I'm overly obsessed with her but because she has a condition that requires a special diet that is cheaper to cook than buy).
For a brief moment, I thought "What if I just didn't feed my dog?" Immediately, my spirit said "Who among you would give your child a stone for bread?' I paused, then remembered more of the scripture from the praise song we used to sing at Grace Community Church, "If we, being evil, do good for our children..." I realized there is no way I would go to bed without feeding Mathilda, and I understand that she is a dog and not a human (contrary to some folks' opinions). Sure, sometimes I give her Cheerios when I'm too tired to make her brown rice, but I would never let her go hungry if it was in my power to feed her. I would never totally disregard her and not give her the special attention she needs when I get home, to make her feel loved and safe. If I would never treat my dog differently than this, then how will God not do abundantly more for me...His child...that He knit together in my mother's womb?
As I paused to process this, the same old thought rose up that has always risen up in me when I hear this scripture - "Yeah, but some parents are bad and abusive, truly evil - and they really might give their kid a stone for bread." Then God told me "True, but I am good and evil is not in Me." Oh, yeah. An important little detail.
Needless to say, I fed my dog. I even gave her some chicken after all of that. Then, despite the previously mentioned exhaustion, I made myself sit down and type this. Because I'm learning that if the Holy Spirit tells you something then make the time to write it down.
If you'd like to read the actual scriptures and not merely what I remembered, then here you go:
For a brief moment, I thought "What if I just didn't feed my dog?" Immediately, my spirit said "Who among you would give your child a stone for bread?' I paused, then remembered more of the scripture from the praise song we used to sing at Grace Community Church, "If we, being evil, do good for our children..." I realized there is no way I would go to bed without feeding Mathilda, and I understand that she is a dog and not a human (contrary to some folks' opinions). Sure, sometimes I give her Cheerios when I'm too tired to make her brown rice, but I would never let her go hungry if it was in my power to feed her. I would never totally disregard her and not give her the special attention she needs when I get home, to make her feel loved and safe. If I would never treat my dog differently than this, then how will God not do abundantly more for me...His child...that He knit together in my mother's womb?
As I paused to process this, the same old thought rose up that has always risen up in me when I hear this scripture - "Yeah, but some parents are bad and abusive, truly evil - and they really might give their kid a stone for bread." Then God told me "True, but I am good and evil is not in Me." Oh, yeah. An important little detail.
Needless to say, I fed my dog. I even gave her some chicken after all of that. Then, despite the previously mentioned exhaustion, I made myself sit down and type this. Because I'm learning that if the Holy Spirit tells you something then make the time to write it down.
If you'd like to read the actual scriptures and not merely what I remembered, then here you go:
Matthew 7:9
New International Version (NIV)
9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?
And if you need to see a picture of a really cute dog, here ya go:
Matthew 7:9
The Message (MSG)
7-11"Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn't a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we're in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing. You're at least decent to your own children. So don't you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?
And if you need to see a picture of a really cute dog, here ya go:
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Getting Schooled on Hope
I know I sound like a broken record, but the past year beat me up a bit. Then August beat me up a lot. Perhaps I should instead say August stretched me a lot - like taffy pull stretched. Maybe that is my new vision for myself - you've got to be completely contorted and reshaped to make it into the final product that folks can't leave Gatlinburg without (aka - your true self/purpose). And if the stretching wasn't an abnormal and funny-looking process, then nobody would be crowded around the Ole Smoky Candy Kitchen window to watch it. (Ok, sadly that really just came to me and that's how my brain works so I'm sorry if my taffy analogy weirds you out).
The beating of the year had left me feeling mighty dull and low on hope. I was very much in a place of "Really? Is this what life is like for the rest of my time here? Is this what I should get used to and replay over and over for the next 50 or 60 years?" First of all, I knew these thoughts didn't sound like me. I knew they didn't line up with my view of the world and life or with God's promises, but I sure was there thinking them.
Then, a series of events (that, in retrospect, had been going on for months) led me to buy the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. For those of you that are over my recent lauding of her and this book - please don't be concerned. I'm not planning to shave my head and go stalk her or start a cult around it like folks did for that weird angel book several years back. I'm just grateful that God used these writings to reveal more of Himself to me right when I needed it.
One of the first lessons waiting for me was from the following scripture:
I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether itis with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little." Philippians 4:11-12
Until recently, I had never noticed the word "learn" in this scripture. I guess I thought Paul magically had this skill because he was Paul and in the Bible and stuff. When I was in high school, I used to ponder the joys of getting to spend my whole life as a Christian on a journey of faith and how that journey was already written on a treasure map of sorts that only God could see. Only He knew where I'd start and what path I would take to get to the X that marks the spot. Now, I am beginning to understand that I will learn how to live a life that gets me to that X with hope and gratitude.
Then, God sent this scripture along through my pastor:
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139: 23-24 NIV
I had never noticed the "lead me" part. Which, to me, was further proof that this is something that God teaches us along the way. It was a realization of "Oh, I am here in this life place and I know there is an everlasting, and I don't know how to get there with hope, but the next step is to know God will show me."
Very long story short - I'm learning hope and joy.
And sometimes you have to go through this:
to get to this:
Images from:
http://www.andthevalleyshook.com/2010/9/10/1680521/lsu-vanderbilt-what-to-watch-for
and
http://snackattackblog.blogspot.com/2007/05/smoky-mountain-taffy-logs.html
The beating of the year had left me feeling mighty dull and low on hope. I was very much in a place of "Really? Is this what life is like for the rest of my time here? Is this what I should get used to and replay over and over for the next 50 or 60 years?" First of all, I knew these thoughts didn't sound like me. I knew they didn't line up with my view of the world and life or with God's promises, but I sure was there thinking them.
Then, a series of events (that, in retrospect, had been going on for months) led me to buy the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. For those of you that are over my recent lauding of her and this book - please don't be concerned. I'm not planning to shave my head and go stalk her or start a cult around it like folks did for that weird angel book several years back. I'm just grateful that God used these writings to reveal more of Himself to me right when I needed it.
One of the first lessons waiting for me was from the following scripture:
I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether itis with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little." Philippians 4:11-12
Until recently, I had never noticed the word "learn" in this scripture. I guess I thought Paul magically had this skill because he was Paul and in the Bible and stuff. When I was in high school, I used to ponder the joys of getting to spend my whole life as a Christian on a journey of faith and how that journey was already written on a treasure map of sorts that only God could see. Only He knew where I'd start and what path I would take to get to the X that marks the spot. Now, I am beginning to understand that I will learn how to live a life that gets me to that X with hope and gratitude.
Then, God sent this scripture along through my pastor:
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139: 23-24 NIV
I had never noticed the "lead me" part. Which, to me, was further proof that this is something that God teaches us along the way. It was a realization of "Oh, I am here in this life place and I know there is an everlasting, and I don't know how to get there with hope, but the next step is to know God will show me."
Very long story short - I'm learning hope and joy.
And sometimes you have to go through this:
http://www.andthevalleyshook.com/2010/9/10/1680521/lsu-vanderbilt-what-to-watch-for
and
http://snackattackblog.blogspot.com/2007/05/smoky-mountain-taffy-logs.html
Thursday, September 15, 2011
How He Loves
This song has been on constant play in my life lately. I heard that the writer (John Mark McMillan) penned it following the death of a friend, after he pictured this friend in the throne room and realizing how everything eclipses in comparison to God's love and beauty. It makes me think of a revelation I heard a year or so ago by the very wise Tricia Gunn. She said that every stress, wound, stronghold is tiny when we place it beside God's monolith of love. How true is that? And what good use of the word 'monolith'? :). It gives me a mental image of a person the size of an ant standing beside the St. Louis Arch (don't ask me why because I don't know other than it's a monolithic in size thing that I have stood beside before). It also makes me think of my junior year of college when a teacher made us sit and ponder the monolith in 2001, A Space Odyssey, but that's neither here nor there.
I love that the first line is "He is jealous for me". Isn't that what Song of Solomon and being the Bride of Christ is all about? Doesn't He makes some choices for us in His will because He is jealous for us and our attention and hearts? Doesn't that dwarf some of our disappointments?
Here's the lyrics of the David Crowder Band version, and I highly recommend you go download. If I had one of those music widget thingys I'd just tell ya to play it, but ya need to buy it anyway ;).
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so
He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
And oh, how He loves us
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
I love that the first line is "He is jealous for me". Isn't that what Song of Solomon and being the Bride of Christ is all about? Doesn't He makes some choices for us in His will because He is jealous for us and our attention and hearts? Doesn't that dwarf some of our disappointments?
Here's the lyrics of the David Crowder Band version, and I highly recommend you go download. If I had one of those music widget thingys I'd just tell ya to play it, but ya need to buy it anyway ;).
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so
He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way
And oh, how He loves us
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Making Me Happy
A recent and totally indulgent purchase that I love....this watch pendant necklace.
And yes, it opens. I love it. I'd wanted something like this for a while, but couldn't quite afford the vintage pieces my friend Haley makes over at the House Sparrow. ( I would totally link right now but for some reason google has gone mad and won't let me). I had also seriously considered asking her to make me a necklace out of my grandad's pocket watch. But, it's about a hundred years old. And heavy. And you have to wind it. And it's pretty much the only thing I have from my Poppa - so I'm thinking it might work better in a shadowbox :). This necklace is girly, light-weight, and comes with a 2011 battery. And, I can open it like a locket if I want to pretend that I need to check the time to ensure I make my train... a la 1890.
Guesses on where I got it? Yep, you're right. Heritage House.
And yes, it opens. I love it. I'd wanted something like this for a while, but couldn't quite afford the vintage pieces my friend Haley makes over at the House Sparrow. ( I would totally link right now but for some reason google has gone mad and won't let me). I had also seriously considered asking her to make me a necklace out of my grandad's pocket watch. But, it's about a hundred years old. And heavy. And you have to wind it. And it's pretty much the only thing I have from my Poppa - so I'm thinking it might work better in a shadowbox :). This necklace is girly, light-weight, and comes with a 2011 battery. And, I can open it like a locket if I want to pretend that I need to check the time to ensure I make my train... a la 1890.
Guesses on where I got it? Yep, you're right. Heritage House.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Really not sure what to title this that isn't cheesy or disrespectful...
Today is the 10th anniversary of the September 11th that was tragic for all of us. It has been interesting to see how personally everyone has processed it - through conversation, on facebook, through memorials. One friend's husband wrote on her wall that he was so thankful she made it out of the towers alive so he could meet her and they could start a family. In comparison, I served alongside teenagers at church this morning that have never known life without the possibility of this trauma, fear, and hatred.
My church is in the middle of its At The Movies series and used the Flight 93 movie for this morning's sermon. It was my Sunday to go to service and I almost volunteered to stay in the nursery. I didn't know if I could handle it or I even wanted to try. I spent a year of my life in the building that plane was headed for and heard the stories of my friends that had ran as far as they could go and I just wasn't interested.
But, I'm glad I went to service. And I'm glad I sat between friends that wouldn't have thought any different if I sobbed my eyes out. I'm glad because I came out thankful. I have been in a season and God is making it clear that gratitude is what will pull me through and out of the valley.
Our pastor focused on those last phone calls from so many, and how none of them had extraneous words - they all said "I love you." He challenged us to go tell someone we love them and make sure they know because our lives are a vapor and we don't know what the next moment brings.
This truth makes me proud of my family. We are a trophy of God's grace, but we are far from perfect. I have asked God more than once why he chose to set me here in this pairing of complicated people (but let's call them beautifully complicated since we can :-) ). No matter how crazypants my immediate family has been, I don't think I've gone a day of my life without being told I was loved and wanted, and without returning the favor. In that moment in January, where we suddenly and unexpectedly watched my mom stop breathing and I pushed that nurse button to say so and the blue-scrubbed people came running, and I had to look in my dad's eyes that begged me to tell him what was happening and that his wife wasn't really gone - there wasn't anything in our family that had been left unsaid. There was no question of love.
Thankfully, we still have my mom, and despite a totaled truck and some bumps in the road, we still have my dad. Me and my sister and hers are here too.
People like to make jokes about how I don't like to touch people, but hopefully if I love you there is not a doubt in your mind even if I'm tough, and even if I don't reach out and grab you or speak your particular love language (especially if it's quality time or touch - I just may be wired funny with those). I so truly understand not being loved in return and having love taken away. But if my life and this year's grief of family and tornado have taught me anything, it's that I don't have time for you to not know I love you, I don't have time to be afraid to tell you, and I don't have time to worry about how you react to the fact I do. I'm just gonna love you. Like the church sign on Martin Luther King Blvd said for all of 2010 - Love Has No Regrets. I think God had them leave it up so stinking long to make sure I got that message in my head. Love has no regrets because all is grace, and that's the bottom line.
And just so you know, if you're reading this and are one of the few that know this blog exists - then it probably means I love you :).
My church is in the middle of its At The Movies series and used the Flight 93 movie for this morning's sermon. It was my Sunday to go to service and I almost volunteered to stay in the nursery. I didn't know if I could handle it or I even wanted to try. I spent a year of my life in the building that plane was headed for and heard the stories of my friends that had ran as far as they could go and I just wasn't interested.
But, I'm glad I went to service. And I'm glad I sat between friends that wouldn't have thought any different if I sobbed my eyes out. I'm glad because I came out thankful. I have been in a season and God is making it clear that gratitude is what will pull me through and out of the valley.
Our pastor focused on those last phone calls from so many, and how none of them had extraneous words - they all said "I love you." He challenged us to go tell someone we love them and make sure they know because our lives are a vapor and we don't know what the next moment brings.
This truth makes me proud of my family. We are a trophy of God's grace, but we are far from perfect. I have asked God more than once why he chose to set me here in this pairing of complicated people (but let's call them beautifully complicated since we can :-) ). No matter how crazypants my immediate family has been, I don't think I've gone a day of my life without being told I was loved and wanted, and without returning the favor. In that moment in January, where we suddenly and unexpectedly watched my mom stop breathing and I pushed that nurse button to say so and the blue-scrubbed people came running, and I had to look in my dad's eyes that begged me to tell him what was happening and that his wife wasn't really gone - there wasn't anything in our family that had been left unsaid. There was no question of love.
Thankfully, we still have my mom, and despite a totaled truck and some bumps in the road, we still have my dad. Me and my sister and hers are here too.
People like to make jokes about how I don't like to touch people, but hopefully if I love you there is not a doubt in your mind even if I'm tough, and even if I don't reach out and grab you or speak your particular love language (especially if it's quality time or touch - I just may be wired funny with those). I so truly understand not being loved in return and having love taken away. But if my life and this year's grief of family and tornado have taught me anything, it's that I don't have time for you to not know I love you, I don't have time to be afraid to tell you, and I don't have time to worry about how you react to the fact I do. I'm just gonna love you. Like the church sign on Martin Luther King Blvd said for all of 2010 - Love Has No Regrets. I think God had them leave it up so stinking long to make sure I got that message in my head. Love has no regrets because all is grace, and that's the bottom line.
And just so you know, if you're reading this and are one of the few that know this blog exists - then it probably means I love you :).
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Beautimousness
Hi friends! I'm halfway through my staycation - which is starting to freak me out because (shockingly) I had unrealistic goals for what all I could accomplish this week and because I am seriously loving me some rest. So, I'm at that place where I think my vacation is already over - but deep breath - it's not. And with this unexpected fall weather, I've turned off the air and opened my french doors to further remind myself.
Now, to the real purpose of today's post :). This has been stewing in me for over a week now and is sadly inspired by a recent Keeping Up With the Kardashians marathon. I have to admit, I think Kim Kardashian is absolutely stunning. Like, it's hard to not stare at the tv and hard to accept she's real. Not in a weird way - just in that "appreciating that God made women to be beautiful and I find beauty in this" way. In a recent episode (I really don't watch this show regularly, promise), her fiance (now husband) was playing around and washing her makeup off her face because they were at the beach and because he thought she was prettier without it. Somehow, this made me think the following:
"Kim Kardashian isn't afraid to be beautiful. She doesn't wake up in the morning and think What can I wear today that will be appropriate for the day's events but not make me too pretty or too noticeable? Then I thought, J Lo doesn't wake up and worry about being too pretty either. In fact, these gorgeous women wake up and are intentionally beautiful every day."
I fully understand that these women are paid to be beautiful and employ other people based on the fact that they have to be beautiful and that is a whole other complicated issue. But let's think about the fact that they are not afraid to go about their day being gorgeous. I bring this up because I think that most of us women are. We get up for work and think "How can I blend with the status quo today? How can I not draw attention to myself today, or be just presentable enough to look nice without standing out? Ooo, I really like this necklace and it makes me happy, but will too many people comment on the fact I'm wearing it?" Basically, "How can I live in my own skin and own creation?"
I'm also thinking a lot about relishing in our youth while we have it. I'm not suggesting that we dress trashy, just that we go ahead and be peacocks with pretty feathers and delight in being women. God made peacocks to be pretty and we don't judge them for it or shame their creation. And, to me, being born female means you harbor beauty. The end.
Some days I want to dress like a hippie or just wear sweatpants, but sometimes that's because I'm afraid to go all Mad Men clothes on the world - but how fun would it be to let that go?
It looks like beautiful clothes are in for the fall. I'm seriously considering wearing these clothes and being a grown up - whether the other women at work wear them or not. I probably won't have the chance when I'm 80, so why not play dress-up now?
I mean, seriously,
Now, to the real purpose of today's post :). This has been stewing in me for over a week now and is sadly inspired by a recent Keeping Up With the Kardashians marathon. I have to admit, I think Kim Kardashian is absolutely stunning. Like, it's hard to not stare at the tv and hard to accept she's real. Not in a weird way - just in that "appreciating that God made women to be beautiful and I find beauty in this" way. In a recent episode (I really don't watch this show regularly, promise), her fiance (now husband) was playing around and washing her makeup off her face because they were at the beach and because he thought she was prettier without it. Somehow, this made me think the following:
"Kim Kardashian isn't afraid to be beautiful. She doesn't wake up in the morning and think What can I wear today that will be appropriate for the day's events but not make me too pretty or too noticeable? Then I thought, J Lo doesn't wake up and worry about being too pretty either. In fact, these gorgeous women wake up and are intentionally beautiful every day."
I fully understand that these women are paid to be beautiful and employ other people based on the fact that they have to be beautiful and that is a whole other complicated issue. But let's think about the fact that they are not afraid to go about their day being gorgeous. I bring this up because I think that most of us women are. We get up for work and think "How can I blend with the status quo today? How can I not draw attention to myself today, or be just presentable enough to look nice without standing out? Ooo, I really like this necklace and it makes me happy, but will too many people comment on the fact I'm wearing it?" Basically, "How can I live in my own skin and own creation?"
I'm also thinking a lot about relishing in our youth while we have it. I'm not suggesting that we dress trashy, just that we go ahead and be peacocks with pretty feathers and delight in being women. God made peacocks to be pretty and we don't judge them for it or shame their creation. And, to me, being born female means you harbor beauty. The end.
Some days I want to dress like a hippie or just wear sweatpants, but sometimes that's because I'm afraid to go all Mad Men clothes on the world - but how fun would it be to let that go?
It looks like beautiful clothes are in for the fall. I'm seriously considering wearing these clothes and being a grown up - whether the other women at work wear them or not. I probably won't have the chance when I'm 80, so why not play dress-up now?
I mean, seriously,
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