Not a fat joke

I had an experience last night that reminded me of one of my soap boxes.  Aren't you glad? :).  I was talking with some old friends that were in town and preferencing all of my sentences with some disclaimer, which I tend to do uncontrollably.  I know it's annoying, but I can't seem to stop.  It is particularly bad when I'm feeling a little insecure, when I'm tired, or when I'm about to actually state my opinion and I'm scared.  I've also done this an awful lot this week due to a bit of a whallup to the head - but that's another story.
Sometimes when I'm talking in this matter, I realize how insecure it sounds, and then I become more nervous about how it's sounding and then I get worse.  It's pretty much a communication trainwreck.  So, I was noticing that I already sounded pretty insecure last night.
Then, I said something that sounded like a self-degrading fat joke - and it clearly was not received well.  I thought to myself, "That sounded like a fat joke.  And self-referencing fat jokes are never funny.  Ever.  Fat jokes in general are not funny.  Maybe one time every now then when delivered by Adam Sandler or something, but overall never funny.  I would have made the same face and then ignored that joke had I heard anybody else say it." 
Truthfully, I was not making a fat joke about myself.  It was more of an observation that I was quite literally much larger by genetics, inches, and bone structure than anybody else at the table.  And, because of this, I really do eat more food.  I also rarely find food to be "too rich".  All of these factors combined meant that I had no problem finishing my piece of cake after a big dinner and wanted to lick my plate.  Or at least run my finger through the fudge lava in the cake pan in front of me.
I know it wasn't a self-degrading fat joke because I made a pact with myself to stop those completely when I was a junior in college.  I've always believed in the importance of words and their effects and I didn't want to needlessly attack myself anymore.  I had been thinking about these things for a while.  Then, one day in the Honors House kitchen, I decided I would not call myself a cow ever again.  This seemed like a rather scandalous decision, because it was requisite that college girls call themselves a cow at least once a day.  It was as though I might lose my scholarship if I didn't play along with all the other girls and keeping calling myself fat - whether it was true or not. 
Granted, I have not been perfect about this.  I have slipped every now and then - but I am at least very conscious of it when I do.  And I don't allow other women to call themselves fat either.  It's just so poisonous and a waste of words.  Now, there are days when I really do feel like I am the size of a whale.  I'm pretty close to being there today.  And I have been self-conscious about some weight I added this summer.  But, I'm not going to waste my time and mental health attacking myself over it.  Instead, I'll make better food choices and start exercising again.
Words have power, and God has given us the power to bless ourselves.  Our bodies are fearfully and wonderfully made, whether they are a bit bloated or not.  Today, I encourage you to think of a physical insecurity you have and choose to bless that part of you and thank God for it.