An everyday example of attempting to end a phone conversation with my mom…

(Following the daily lunch check-in conversation – which always includes a dog update and her most recently taken vital signs)
Me: Ok, well, I need to go.
Momma: Well, what are you doing today?
Me: I just got back from lunch and have a conference call soon
Momma: Oh, who’s it with?
Me: (quick explanation of call) Well, your home health nurse is there and I need to go to work.
Momma: Well what do you think about the shooting of the Holocaust Museum guard? You know we went there when you were in 10th grade. Do you remember? (Recap of all CNN and FOX News reports of the day)
Me: Yes, I am very upset about that….
Momma: (more details from FOX News)
Me: Momma, I am about to pee in my pants and I am a 30 year old adult at work, I need to go.
Momma: Yes, it would be bad to ask your boss if you could go home and change. By the way, (John Doe) had a miracle! Praise the Lord!
Me: I do not know John Doe.
Momma: You know, Such-and-such’s girlfriend’s son from Vernon.
Me: No, I do not know him.
Momma: Well, he was eat up with infection and had 72 hours to live. They took him to UAB hospital and he just didn’t have a chance but now he’s going to live and his doctor says it’s a miracle cause he had nothing to do with it.
Me: That is a miracle. I had no idea.
Momma: Well, I guess your Daddy didn’t tell you like I asked him to.
Me: Seriously, I really really have to pee.
Momma: Ok, well I guess I should let you go. Bye and I’ll talk to you again before 10.

Gotta love her.