Seriously

I’ve had a lot of potentially awkward social run-ins lately, and am bound to have more in the future. I had one in Target just now on my lunch break which followed the traditional pattern of: 1.) you see the person; 2) you decide whether to look away, hide, or step up; 3.) you brace yourself, and then 4.) insert awkward smile with meaningful eye look and say (fairly loudly) “Hey girl!! How are you?”
You know what? I’m over it. Done. I don’t have hard feelings, back-stabbing revenge plans, or guilt that should make me uncomfortable to speak with anyone. We don’t go to church together anymore? Fine, I miss you and appreciate you, but I was supposed to move on and that had nothing to do with anybody but me. We don’t hang out anymore? Either life or other people’s decisions made that happen, it had absolutely nothing to do with whether or not I genuinely care for you. You tried to create drama and I didn’t respond? Fine, I do my best Mary J. impersonation every day and usually don’t play along, but I do forgive and move on want good things for you.
I feel like this may sound angrier than I intend – when really I’m just asking why do we always do this? Why do make situations awkward when they could be life-affirming instead? I’m tired of trying to make every cell in my body extend unspoken messages of goodness because of some potentially awkward situation. It’s exhausting. I just wanna say “Yes, that sucked. We’re fine. Let’s move on. How are you really?”