For a lot of different reasons, my PhD graduation was not a very good time for me. Despite all of the support, gifts, efforts, and encouragement of my family and friends - it was very difficult and shadowed over. I felt confused, scared, and at times didn't even seem to know myself anymore. All of which is pretty uncharacteristic for me.
I decided it was about time to change that. Tonight, I went through a box and found my PhD party pictures and my graduation pictures (yes - I wasn't even sure where they were and had never downloaded the cds onto my computer! I had maybe seen them 1 time). I went through them all and smiled. Even at the ones that might otherwise hurt. This may sound overly dramatic, but I don't think I really claimed my accomplishment for myself until tonight. This was the first time that none of it was tinged with darkness or sadness. I was so happy, I posted them on facebook nearly 2 years late. Not because I needed or wanted more pictures of myself on there, but because I was taking it all back and making it joyous. I looked at the pictures and felt so blessed and felt all of the love.
If I didn't properly thank you during that time in my life, I apologize, and I thank you now. I wouldn't be me without you :).
Photo credit: my dad.
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