More Adventures in Singledom

**Warning - Stream of Consciousness follows**

I don't even know what I have to say here - but I feel like there is a blog post in here somewhere.  But it may not be pretty or paint me in too flattering of a light.
I got asked to lunch this week.  And that was a sincerely appreciated gesture.  But it also sent me down an ugly spiral of depression, self-pity, and just a touch of self-loathing.  (By the way - none of these things are from God).  I know this person is not a match for me.  However, I am so often told that I am still single because I am too picky (insert whole other rant and tangent here) that I felt like I needed to say yes to prove these people wrong.  And to not be a jerk to a  really sweet guy that had the guts to ask.  And because I'm not being flooded with other date requests.  And because I need to take more chances?
Then there is the previously mentioned downward spiral.  Mostly because you're a jerk if you go and give him false hope and you're a jerk if you don't - so then I get mad that somebody else is making me a jerk by default.  Date offers by people you're not interested in can also be a giant mirror in your face telling you that you're single and these appear to be your only options.  (Gonna say this is a lie too).
After a week of feeling pretty yucky and being overwhelmed by my lack of time and absence of rest because I struggle with saying no, I had the bit of panic attack I needed to say no to this lunch.  Granted, the fact that this person sent me 3 non-responded to emails in less than 24 hours really helped with my answer.
I would like to give a big thanks to the friends that emailed me reminders that being single does not mean you're desperate.
And to the folks that think I'm too picky, here is a list of men that have tried to talk to me in the past year or so : 
One that led to me filing a police report.
One that I had to block on facebook for writing me messages all the time although he'd never really met me.  None of which used complete sentences.  And I found out he had an awful lot of challenges, including a recent drug problem.
One that said he liked me but didn't think I liked him back (because I didn't jump in his lap when I met him?).
Two married men.

Which one of these should I have chosen?