Mercy

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, but I have a list of things waiting in line! Despite the list, I’m going with something from this morning’s Today show. That being Elizabeth Edwards’ book tour.

The purpose of this is not to make any personal judgment on John or Elizabeth Edwards’ political views, ideas on health care, or his campaigns. It is to speak to the criticisms many have voiced about her writing a book and daring to be so blatantly honest.

Do I think it’s a good idea to openly write about her husband’s affair, and so soon? Is it something I would do? I’m not so sure. Am I thankful she’s doing it? Yes.

I’m thankful because she has a message that our generation needs to hear. She is a modern, independent, highly educated woman that is very publicly acknowledging that her husband’s infidelity has been more painful and fearful than a long battle with cancer. She’s not in denial about how destructive it has been. She’s not letting today’s squishy definitions of morality make her say that it’s all ok. And at the same time, she’s saying she still loves him and that he has been the most significant and influential relationship in her life – even now that she knows he has what she referred to as a “fatal flaw”. She’s saying that she still wants him to look at her like she’s the most beautiful woman in the world.

If you study stress management, you’ll hear about how humans haven’t evolved to the stress of today’s technological world and how we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves. I think the same is true of unfaithfulness. We haven’t “evolved” enough for emotional and physical cheating to be as insignificant as our culture tells us it should be, and I don’t think we are ever meant to.

We’re not honest about how destructive infidelity is, and then expect those left in its path to just bounce back. Granted, we give them a few months, but then wonder why they haven’t just moved on. And we don’t acknowledge that everyone involved is a victim of the consequences – not just the faithful one, but the entire family and the cheater. I’m sure if you asked John Edwards, he would say he’s pretty devastated that despite all of his success and goodwill, his legacy is now one of shame and flat out jerk-dom. He is the one that has to make eye contact with his wife and kids every day while the media tosses this about. How many houses for the poor does he have to build to change any of that?

Watching Elizabeth Edward’s raw emotion makes me uncomfortable. But it reminds me that God’s law was not intended to punish us or keep us from earthly pleasures, but to protect our bodies and our hearts, and those of the people we love. That will never change.