Our Calling is Daily Obedience - Whether or Not it Comes With Confetti and Sparkles

I have long gone rounds with "finding my purpose" and the "calling on my life".  I've taken tests and read countless articles and books on the topic.  Regardless, I still cannot identify exactly what that action or role or job might be.  In fact, my greatest fear in life is not fulfilling my purpose or somehow not stepping up enough to be all I was created to be. (If you want blatant honesty). If I am OCD about anything, it might be thinking about and trying to find my purpose. 

This is why I sometimes plug my ears and sing "la la la" when pastors start talking about whether you've found your purpose and how important that is and how it changes everything.   I don't disagree with this statement. I actually fully agree with this statement.  Especially for stoners with red eye or anybody wandering about aimlessly.  My issue is that there may be such a thing as "purpose" addicts and asking us to find and name our purpose makes us either 1.)  freeze like statues, 2.) overcommit ourselves to every cause we can think of, 3.) melt into a puddle of tears and wailing on the floor or 4.) lash ourselves while wearing a horsehair shirt (for some reason my mind always goes medieval with penance).  This is a large part of the reason why the book Grace for the Good Girl is so important to me - because I think pastors and the church as a body just don't know what to do with the goody-goody appearing addicts whose fix is earning their salvation and grace. 

This post is triggered by this article by Karen Yates in Relevant magazine.  It's all about the hyper focus on purpose in the church and how we overlook the Gospel truth we are called to daily obedience because we're too busy hunting down our purpose.  If we are obedient daily and lay it all down daily, then we're going to be where we need to be and drop love and grace where it's called for.

Believe it or not, I spoke to my former young adult ministry on this once.  The pastor asked me to share any personal revelations I had on our fall retreat and I may or may not have preached a sermon.  You see, while on this retreat, I realized I had become too old to ever be Miss America, a pop diva icon, or to be on The Real World (dating myself a bit, ahem.).  I freaked out and thought "What if I was supposed to be or do one of those things and I missed it and now I can never fulfill my purpose!"  I hear tell other people have had this reaction upon realizing they are too old for American Idol.  The thing is, I didn't want to be on The Real World, but I realized that sometimes windows close on opportunities and that terrified me.  (Whether I wanted to be Miss America or a pop diva icon is another matter all together).  God spoke to me that if I seek Him daily, I will be right where I'm supposed to be.  He said "Hey, why don't you check out this scripture?"
Micah 6:8

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Reminding myself of this and chilling out is the hard part. 

Another thing I appreciate about this article is that it reminded me that walking in your purpose also requires dying to your flesh - aka - it won't always feel good.  I thought I knew for sure my purpose last fall but then that purpose started a season that really has not been fun.  At times I've thought that's a sign to quit.  To completely walk away.  But is it?  That's a whole other question.

So, next time you're having a panic attack about whether you've blown life, stop and ask yourself "Did I act justly today?  Did I love mercy today?  Did I listen for God and ask for Him to direct me today?"  If so, you lived a good day and good days lead to a beautiful story of a life.