Jesus Year in a Nutshell (aka - A Whole Lotta Grace)

What a difference a year makes. The summer and fall that I turned 33 was one of the most difficult times of my life. It was the desert valley of a very hard year. I’m glad 2011 existed so that I could live to see the other side of it, and that’s all I can say about that.

Last year, a couple of people wished me “Happy Jesus Year”. I knew that was a thing, but I hadn’t been thinking of it at the time. Four days out from 34, I’m a full-out believer in the Jesus year – if not for any reason other than falling in love with Jesus in the past 12 months. Yes, who I am went through some transformations; but I became crazy about Jesus and what He said and what He did in a brand new way. The rest of the typical “Jesus Year” stuff wouldn’t have gone near as well without that, I’m sure. I want to close the year with finding a real Bible (not just an app) and only reading the words in red, because I love the man that said them and that voice can get lost if you become wrapped up in our culture’s noise.

Last year around this time, I was fighting for control in chaos when I really needed to let everything go (and everything is mighty big thing, y’all). On top of that, I was past worn out from the 8 months that preceded and the weariness was making its delayed appearance in unexpected ways, some with painful consequences. As is the course of history, weariness can lead to despair, which chokes out hope. Thankfully, that last ounce of hope was to be replaced with a flood of grace.

First, grace appeared in a book called One Thousand Gifts (Ann Voskamp), which forced me to climb out of the dark hole and into the light that is so present in my life. (Ok, to be perfectly honest, laughing at the Muppet Movie helped open the floodgate). That was followed up by another gift in the book Grace for the Good Girl (Emily P. Freeman), which blew fresh air into my freedom sails (Yes, that line was corny – but it’s the mental picture I have so deal with it). Rounding that out with the book You're Already Amazing (Holley Gerth) worked out pretty well too.

My 33rd year is the closest I’ve been so far to living without a mask and staying fully engaged with the grace of God in the day-to-day. This year makes you a little more bold, a little more real, a little more focused in your decision making, and thankfully – more capable of extending grace to others. It’s been fun to find good pieces of me that are still there and to step out with some of the new ones.

It’s been healing and educational to see God move where I had lost hope. In the Spring of the year I read The Circle Maker (Mark Batterson), which made the point that the prayers we pray don’t expire because prayers are also eternal and alive in our future. I’m grateful that God has allowed me to see some of my 5, 10, and dare I say 30 year old prayers answered this year, especially when my works had nothing to do with the prayer being answered ;).

Looking at 34, I realize I’m past the point of having to reconcile adulthood, which is a pretty big deal for the person who at 12 refused to stop singing “I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toys ‘R Us kid.” I am also a little more acquainted with anti-aging cosmetic lines than I would like to be. And I may or may not have kept a running tally in my head this time round of competing Olympians that were my age or older. And I may keep track of famous women that are older than me but glamorous, getting engaged, adopting, etc. But, I shall face this all in skinny jeans and a cute blazer (so get ready to see a lot of that). And, of course, most of all the metric ton of grace and peace that passes all understanding that comes along with my all-in-all Jesus.

It just so happens there are couple of related gold nuggets in the blogs today:

Lysa Terkeurst has a great post on people pleasing  (which I don’t struggle with whatsoever, you know), which includes the following scripture:

Proverbs 31:25 says, “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” What this says to me is she doesn’t set her heart up to dread what lies ahead.

Um, hello and amen. Maybe I should get high on ice cream and tattoo that on my bum.

And how about this piece of life-making-wonderment from Emily Freeman:

“May your weekend be filled with constant reminders that the world can spin without your help. May you make peace with weakness, inadequacy, and uncertainty and welcome the unique gifts they carry with them. When you find yourself in a situation where anxiety threatens to overwhelm you, take a few moments to breathe in truth and breathe out belief. Rehearse the companionship of Jesus. Practice your new identity. Carry around the stunning, remarkable truth that God is a friend and you have not been left alone. Enjoy your weekend, friends.”

If you’re reading this then you are my friend and for that I say thank you.