I was supposed to go visit my parents for just a few hours. But my mom always has other plans. Today, it was a quick jaunt to a plant nursery she'd heard about. Granted, my dad had been sick all night and felt absolutely terrible while I had to bake a cake for a bridal tea and still needed the groceries. But this plant nursery was just a 20 minute drive, right? And my mom had kinda died and came back and has only left the house to go to the doctor, so I should go, right? It was time for me to head home by the time we actually left for the nursery. Then we had to stop by McDonalds for beverages. Then we had to keep going west because surely it was just over the next hill.
We finally got to our destination to discover that this plant nursery was closed, and not just for Saturday. It had gone out of business. This is when my mother realizes that we have, in fact, gone to the wrong nursery. So she calls her friend to see where she was talking about. When she doesn't answer, she makes me drive to a general store/gas station/auto repair/flea market to ask for directions. We drove up just as the proprietor was zipping up his pants from peeing behind one of the car sheds. Lovely. After a brief introduction, he says he could get us there because his sister knew where everything was, but he'd have to wait on his customer before he called her. We realize his customer is the elderly Pentecostal woman that has pulled her baby blue cadillac up to THE gas pump. By this time, my dad is seemingly in-and-out of consciousness and very uncomfortable in the back of truck. Yes, the giant man is sitting in the back because he was in no state to drive.
The man's sister does know where it is - it's about 5 miles past the state line if we go down the highway and cut towards (insert butchered Indian name of a town in Mississippi here). My mom says we've gone too far to turn back now. My dad grudgingly agrees and somehow manages to not throw up in the back seat despite his condition. I start clocking 5 miles immediately at the state line and tell Momma we'll just have to look for this another day once those miles have past. Too bad there wasn't a place to turn around at the 5 mile marker and I had to keep driving until we go to The Old Country Store and Gas Station. And too bad the friend calls back with directions to the nursery, which are to drive to the Old Country Store and ask for directions because that's how she found it the first time. At this point, my dad is awake and really not happy but I go ask for directions to avoid World War III.
After another 10 minute drive through nowhere, we arrive at a truly wonderful plant nursery that is covered with shoppers. In The Middle of Nowhere. (How did all of these other people find this place with no signs?) It was an oasis of plants, folk art, porch swings, and rocking chairs - and they were open for 20 more minutes.
I've drawn this story out long enough already - but it is important to note that my mother is basically in her pajamas with mustard all over her shirt, and the ground is all stone gravel that is not wheel-chair friendly, and my mom quite clearly told me to "Not tell her no" when I asked if she please wouldn't walk the 50 yards or so the vegetable greenhouse potentially containing heirloom tomato plants. Thankfully, the women at Bloomers in Caledonia, Mississippi are absolutely wonderful and stayed after hours to serve crippled pajama lady, her high-strung nervous daughter, and her husband that was walking around like Joey in the hernia episode of Friends.
After a trip to another Alabama town for Wal-Mart, dinner from my Aunt's restaurant, and my two offers to take Daddy to the ER - we made it back. I arrived at my home around 8:45pm. I finished icing the cake around 11:30. And I finished writing this around 12:15. Thus is a day in the life of a Yerby.
Did I mention how fun it was to drive my dad's new truck?
Check out some of my iPhone pics from Bloomers. (Sad I couldn't use my hipstomatic app at the time)
Hahahaha!!! OMGosh, the movie just played in my head!
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